Change. Transformation. 2 words that are both totally overused and also totally sum up so much of life. So many songs written about it, so many ways to describe it- and don’t get me started on how many businesses are doing “transformation” programs.

But what is it really?

Cooking is transformation. Growing up is transformation. Living is transformation. Everything is constantly changing so how can we point to one single experience or event or project as more important than the rest. What is transformative vs what is just life?

We can’t really, but at the same time, I can look back on the last few months and say I’m a different person than I was 12 months ago. Not fundamentally different but different. Different priorities, different habits, different goals, different outlook.

2019 has been a year filled with change. But it’s not change just for changes sake- it’s change moving toward a goal- so many that makes it a transformative year or maybe we’re just having transformative experiences. Or maybe there have just been so many changes that everything feels a bit different.

We bought a house- we’ve made some minor changes to the house and to our lifestyle but it hasn’t been a transformation.

In buying a house, we left the neighborhood we spent almost 9 years living in- and moved 15 minutes away. Again, far enough away to change habits but not far enough away to disrupt our lives dramatically.

In changing neighborhoods, we’ve had to change how we get to work, where we eat, when we shop- not really but we lost our corner shop where we could pick up milk and miscellaneous forgotten items.

One of us has a new job but it was a promotion not a radical change of career.

We’ve changed lots of habits and lots of routines because of our new location, but that’s just being practical and doing what makes sense logistically.

We’ve watched our baby change into a big boy before our very eyes. But he’s not transformed, he’s evolving and growing. He’s a talker, a swimmer, an independent 2 1/2 year old with his own ideas.

There are more changes ahead of us, more steps towards the next part of our lives. The Runner and I are less than 12 months away from turning 40- and it feels like we’re evolving and changing too.

In the past year, I’ve read the book The Very Hungry Caterpillar quite a few things. It strikes me how this very basic and very simple book aimed at infants teaches such a powerful lesson about change and about transformation. I won’t ruin it for you if you can’t remember the end- but the short version is that the caterpillar eats and eats (healthy food during the week and junk food on the weekend- much like most people I know) and at the end is transformed into a butterfly.

I feel like this is that year for me- one of changing and transforming into a butterfly. It’s been a slow process but I’m starting to see light at the end of the tunnel. More than likely it’s an oncoming train because change never stops- or as my grandmother so eloquently used to say, “life is a process of change”. Life isn’t just that though, life is transformation. Day by day, step by step.