I could make a list of all the things I could, should, would wish that I was doing… But that I’m not.
A million things I’m failing at….
Or I could realise it might be time to reset my expectations.
At the beginning of winter, I had goals, plans, ideas. I was going to take over the world, grab it by the balls and own it! I was going to teach myself German, clean out my closet, get organized, run the city to surf and generally speaking be amazing.
Well….. Now that it’s three weeks before we fly to Austria and 5 days before the city to surf it could be time to face the facts. I am not fluent in German, in fact I’ll be lucky to be able to string together enough German to ask where the toilets are. And I’m not running the city to surf- I’ll do it but it will be more of w Sunday stroll than the sub 2 hour display of running prowess I had in my head 4 months ago. I haven’t cleaned out my closet either or organized a thing. I make lists of things that I need to do “one day” and then chuck it into the too hard basket next to all the other unfolded laundry. I’m pretty sure this means that I’m failing as an adult.
But I’m also learning how to pick my battles- if I manage to remember any German it will be more than I knew 3 months ago, and if I even turn up at the city to surf start line, it will be a tick in the win column for me. These are all things I didn’t even think about doing 6 months ago when I was hobbling around in my moon boot. And no, my closet isn’t organized and I have a lot to check off my to do list, but I’m taking it a step at a time and realising that I’m not failing. I’m realising maybe everything isn’t meant to be easy. Some things which seem straightforward and simple aren’t. Yes, millions of people speak German but they probably didn’t teach themselves. Yes billions of people love running, but most don’t become good runners over night. Some things require hard work and practice and time. So I’m not going to be hard on myself on Sunday, in fact you might see me walking up heartbreak hill with my headphones on muttering to myself in German along to my German podcast.