1 year ago yesterday I was hosting our annual Thanksgiving party.

1 year ago today I got a call telling me I needed to come home- my father was on life support.

1 year ago tomorrow I was sitting in Sydney airport when my sister told me he had died.

5 years ago on Wednesday, The Runner and I met at a mutual friend’s birthday party.

This year, in many ways, has been by far the worst I have been through- losing my father is something that I will never ever fully recover from.  If the past year is anything to go by, I will think about him every day and I will miss him every day for the rest of my life.  When you lose someone, they’re never really gone but it’s hard getting used to them not physically being here.  It’s been a difficult year learning that.  I can’t believe it’s been a year.  It’s surreal and sad and somehow seems really final.  Death is always final but it’s hard to believe it’s true. I’m sure the first year is the hardest- or at least I hope it is, so in some ways it feels good to have survived it.  It doesn’t make it easier but it feels like an accomplishment to have survived relatively unscathed.

On a different note, I also can’t believe it’s been 5 years since The Runner and I met.  5 years.  Half a decade, wow.  The last 5 years have been amazing in a lot of ways- it’s hard to argue that I’ve had a better set of 5 years (well, unless you count College but that was only 4 and it was a different type of amazing!)  I’m really lucky to have him in my life and if anything’s gotten me through the past 12 months, it’s The Runner and his support. 

So this week is pretty crazy- I’ll be celebrating the high and mourning the low. 

I’ll also be keeping myself busy with my new job and of course, planning our annual Thanksgiving party.  I keep saying it’s going to be far more low key than years past but having finally organised the menu actually doing some of the shopping today, I’m not sure if that’s true.  It’s definitely not true actually.  It is more geared toward finger food (which is actually more work than big dishes- doh!) and more of a BBQ.  This year’s menu:  Black Bean Dip, corn casserole, mini mac and cheese, caprese bites, mini sweet potato pie, mini pecan pie, and mini pumpkin pies.   Plus, turkey sausages and burgers on the BBQ.  Hopefully the weather cooperates…. Either way, I’ll be thankful to everyone who comes and thankful to everyone who has supported me this year and helped me- it’s been a tough year but the amazing friends and family around me have made a world of difference and I truly am thankful for them.